Friday, February 10, 2012

A Ticking Time Bomb

Over my life I have had my fair share of physical maladies, broken bones, head injuries, mysterious illnesses, etc. But, really, they haven't been too bad, I'm still alive, there has been no lasting damage, that I know of anyway, and I'm still able to laugh.

This most recent malady, however, has been tricky to laugh about. Since Will was born I have been plagued with back problems, stomach problems, and unexplained pain in my abdomen. Well, I guess it has been explained, I have Endometriosis, along with a myriad of other problems that I won't go into now. Basically Endometriosis blocks your ovaries so it is difficult to get pregnant. If gone untreated, Endometriosis causes infertility. The cure for Endometriosis is pregnancy, amazingly enough. But that's not as easy as it seams. Stephen and I have been trying to get pregnant again for well over a year now. I have had two miscarriages and several other problems such as not ovulating at all for months on end. It goes without saying that I am a wreck. 

I feel like a ticking time bomb, sooner rather than later, I won't be able to have anymore children. That thought scares me beyond belief. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond grateful that I have Will. It took a year of constant diligence and counted days to get pregnant with him. He is an amazing son, I love him so much but I really want him to have some siblings.

My doctor has decided that leaving it up to fate has gone on long enough so we are going to try some medicine to help me ovulate more regularly. I desperately hope it works.

It is so hard to heal wounds that are constantly been reopened. This year has been filled with more then my fair share of tears, many, many prayers and lots of help from our family and friends. Thank you everyone for your support, I can not begin to express how grateful I am to you!

So to perk you up from this sad and depressing post I will leave you with a picture of my handsome boy.


Ellen said...

oh Sianny, I just wept a few tears for you. I am so, so sorry that you have had to face these heartbreaking trials. I love you so, so much and I hope that these next steps you're taking will bring you all those babies your heart desires. Love you friend, and that handsome little man!!

Jessie said...

I'm so sorry Sianny! Thanks for being brave enough to share this. How hard it must be to want another so badly and watch as other people around you get pregnant. I can't imagine your heartache. I'll be sending my prayers along with the rest of your family. I hope that your doctor is able to help, and God willing, you get those precious babies! Hang in there. Try to relax. You've been dealt some tough stuff. But you are one of the strongest women I've ever met. I know you can meet this challenge head on and come out triumphant. Love you, Sianny!!!

P.S. We sooo need to get together soon. I need to meet Will!

Leslie said...

Oh Sian, I'm so sorry. It's so frustrating and heartbreaking. Sending love and prayers your way.

Karen said...

I had NO idea! You are always so strong and positive about life! You always post about your perfect husband and baby! I had no idea you had been trying practically since Will was born and already had 2 miscarriages. That's huge! How far along were you when they happened?? I am so curious. I am so sorry that you have had to deal with endometriosis! My sister had it and I think she had surgery. It took them 7 years before they had their first and then they had their 3rd before the oldest even turned 5! I know it can happen Sian! You are such a wonderful wife and mother and you will be blessed for your diligence! Keep the faith and we'll keep you in our prayers! Love you!

Karen said...
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The Dahlins said...

Hang in there! Infertility is a beast but I am a firm believer that the you are loved and the lord is there. We have been trying for 6 years and I have learned that each year brings its own challenges. Just know that you are not alone in this journey.

Good luck with your journey and with any treatment you try!

Julia said...

I have a friend who also suffered from endometriosis. There are big breaks and miscarriages between her kids, but she was able to have three. You might not be able to have a large family, but there's still potential there. I worry about the same thing. I keep thinking, "I need to have babies now before it's too late!" The more women I talk to, the more I find out that making those beautiful babies is not as easy as we think it is/should be. I hope the medicine helps!